Left Brain; Right Brain

I missed my chance.

For a while now, I've had this nagging feeling that I'm doing it all wrong. I parade around, pretending I'm a writer, a poet. One would think that that would entail, you know, writing things. If not poems, not stories or editorials then at least a blog entry now and again. Hardly. I am the John Cage of literature. Witness the silence.

I'm haunted by this feeling that I'm wasting something great. I'm a smart guy, and reasonably talented. If I'm not creating some mind-shattering art, I feel like I should be curing cancer or something. Math comes easy to me, almost as easy as writing... the only difference is that I fucking hate math. But you know, the likelihood of changing the world through art that I don't even practice is pretty nil. If I were a scientist or mathematician, at least I'd be doing something, in the grand scheme.

The other day, we did this brief mock-experiment in Psych class. The class split in to two groups, the first asking the second a series of unrelated and ultimately unimportant questions. The theory was this - people who were right-brain dominant (the supposedly creative side of the brain) would look left while they thought about the answers. Vice versa for left-brained (the logical side of the brain).

It was kind of sad. Having been one of the people asking the questions and analyzing the results, I felt a little unresolved. I felt I had missed my chance. I wanted to know - I am left brained or right? I am supposed to be logical or artistic? Mastering cold fusion or thought-provoking poetry? I can do both, I just don't know which I should be doing. I tried to think of inane but challenging questions for myself. Of course I looked left, but who knows if that's just my subconscious telling me what I want to hear. Then again, that should be all the answer I need.